Monday, October 1, 2007

Not too much of a good thing

Why does it seem there are almost always more reasons not to have a child than there are to have one? In our contracepting society people have obviously decided to have children, just not very many. I think it might be because it's quite easy to quantify the cons and harder to imagine the pros of having children. At times, I have wanted to put off having more kids because I know the list of things I can't do would instantly grow very long. This bothers me because it's like I'm ignoring what a joy booga bear is (what we call the boy). Why can't it be easier to say 'you know, I'm really missing out on some contact with an adorable human with really soft skin who would love me unconditionally, make me laugh and smile everyday, never have bad breath, maybe look like me, live in my house, and whose visits when they are grown will be the highlight of my week/month/year...yes, lets have a baby!'

Humans are wired for relationship. We seek out people to relate to, we want to be understood and to be loved. But somehow, though we possess this kind of magical ability to create one of these people, we usually don't want to. It's like children don't quite count as humans, though the evidence shows otherwise. Booga bear really loves me, I mean it's completely obvious. If he spends just a little time away from me, he gets a huge smile when he sees me. He's started doing this thing lately where he sits in my lap and holds my face, smiles and says ma, ma, ma and then gives me his little baby kisses all over my face. I'm feeling really happy just thinking about it.

The other day I told him that I am very glad he came to join us in this family, because it's true. All the work and things I can't do are negated twenty-fold by all he gives back in happiness, so that instead of having a short 'pro baby' list, I have a really, really long one. I can't imagine not having him- his presence is so precious, so why would I want to miss out on having more little people like him?


Andrea said...

Is this post inspired by our conversation the other day? It is a great one that I should probably read every day :-)

Noy said...

This is a great post!

There was news story this morning that covered the trend in men in their late 20s to get a vasectomy. I was surprised to learn more and more people are making very "final" decisions on children. I know they have their reasons so I will not judge. However, it does make you think about it all ...

I know I'm really looking forward to meeting our little one. There's already so much love around us and inside me that I just want to burst. I know its hard to give up time to yourself or a neat, toy-free home ... but I'm looking forward to all the new experiences this little person will bring to us.

Elissa said...

Andrea: yes, I really enjoyed talking with you and it definitely got my thoughts going. I'm so glad we are in the same boat on this one. Thanks for the compliment!

Noy: I'm so happy that you have joined the alternately delightful and extremely challenging world of parenthood...I hope to get deeper into this subject in later posts as my views on children/contraception have changed so much by learning about what the Catholic church teaches.